6 Things To Do Instead of Choking Your Co-Workers

 

 

Something’s in the air right now! RIGHT?!

 

A sticky sweet something that’s driving everyone insane, wanting to pull their hair-extensions out, quit their corporate jobs, move to a faraway island and marry a local, or simply say “ugh, I’m so over it!”

 

It’s like the whole planet Earth is PMS-ing, and everyone is feeling the effects of the junk-food-binge-fueled rage. (And the faint glimmer of hope is that men PMS too! In fact, they PMS harder, which gives me a really sick sense of satisfaction!)

 

WTF!? It’s not mercury retrograde, it’s not the weather (which has been oddly perfect), and it’s not due to lack of sleep (because we’ve all admittedly called in sick or rolled up late to work due to the oversleep)….

 

…it just IS.

 

So here are my tips on how to NOT kill someone — because I know it’s something you’re likely considering during these desperate times.

 

6 THINGS TO DO INSTEAD OF CHOKING YOUR CO-WORKERS

 

  • Watch John Oliver’s new video about how awful Donald Trump is — it’s light, it’s funny, and it’ll clue you into the bigger picture. Like how things could be A LOT WORSE if we voted a Gemini into office. Get some perspective!

 

  • Take 3 deep breaths — five seconds in through puckered lips, and five seconds out your mouth through puckered lips. Look around to make sure no one saw you looking like a goddamn hippie.

 

  • Take a walk to the nearest Whole Foods or health food store and pick up some Lavender Oil. Or call up your local DoTerra oil representative, I think they’re having some 2-for-1 sale. Pour a few drops of the magically soothing oil onto your hands, rub your palms together, then inhale. Then repeat step #2.

 

  • Remember that we’re just constructions of atoms floating through space, and that the closest galaxy is light-years away. If that depresses you, recall the last time you wanted to kill someone out of PMS-induced rage. Then remember how you got over it, and felt like you were a crazy person for even entertaining the thought initially. See? It passes….until it reappears. Like the common cold.

 

  • Go on a hike or to the ocean, immersing your senses in nature, and forgetting how much you’re annoyed by everyone’s stupidity. Feeling so small amid the ebb and flow of the great vast ocean, or standing tall (yet equally tiny) atop a hill that has been around for 100s of years before your very existence….it can all be very humbling.

 

  • Help someone else — this trick always works for me. As soon as I get all “waaah waaahhh life is hard, I’m annoyed, people annoy the sh*t out of me, work is boring” I just shift my focus to being of service to someone. Even if it’s to the co-worker whose neck was most recently the target of a choke out. Give it a try, lend a helping hand, or words of advice to someone going through a tough time. It’ll likely re-invigorate the flow of Light into your life, shifting your focus off of the PMS and onto sources of lasting joy and fulfillment.

 

I wish you and yours a healthy and prosperous PMS-ing season. May the neck-choke-outs be forever in your favor. As in, I hope no one gets choked. Choking isn’t cool. Unless it’s your thing. (Blush). Nevermind.

Author: admin

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