I’m gonna get a little personal. See, for as long as I can remember, I’ve been the kind of girl who just ‘went with it.’
I go with the flow! I’m open-minded! Oh, I can figure it all out as I go.
Only problem is, this philosophy started biting me in the ass right around my 20s — when the decisions up for the making held much more weight and potential backlash. When going with the flow could yield immeasurable debt, and irreparable heartbreak.
Sure, sure. We’re all still in the process of figuring this mess of a life out. But without the ability to make decisions from a seat of clarity and integrity, life becomes a string of mishaps seemingly out of our control.
Terrifying, right? Don’t worry, here’s what I’ll do. I’ll outline how to avoid looking like a drunk so you don’t have to endure years of spiritual mentoring, I’ll outline…
THE FIVE STEPS TO MAKING A WISE DECISION
- Chill Out — First step of decision-making is to NOT decide. First, chill out. Look around you, take it all in, don’t get so excited. If something’s yours, it’ll be there. Whether that’s a job, a friend, a lover, or a puppy at the adoption center.
- Check Your Impulses —Once you’ve come down off the excitement high a notch, we’re ready for Step 2. This step requires that before you act out of guttural and carnal impulse, take another beat (or 10) to properly assess your current state of mind. Are you needy? Are you infatuated and unrealistic? Are you hungry? Our moods and states of being have a huge effect on the decisions we make.
Here’s an example, you’re desperate to find love after the last 15-month relationship proved to be yet another bust, and you opt for the first warm body that returns the attention you are giving. You want to be loved, so in an effort to fill the hole of loneliness, you fantasize about this “warm body” and create an illusion altogether. You paint the picture full or roses and unicorns and shining armor, when really there was not much depth to begin with. What’s happening? You’re falling for the illusion. Where’s that going? Towards you waking up 6 months later and realizing you’re still unhappy and thirsty for love, because it was never present in the first place.
- Go Against the Grain — If you’re still with me through the first two steps, then you’ve passed right through the “acting super reactively” phase, and you’re looking at this new job or kitty cat as a legitimate option. The next question becomes, “what have I always done in a situation like this? what are my typical go-to choices?” If you’re usually a fighter, maybe it’s time to back off. If you’re a flighter, maybe it’s time to stand up and speak out for the position you want. If you freeze, well then cut that out. It’s not sexy, and no one got anything in life with immobility. Now is the time to force yourself to consider new paths, and options you would normally think are “crazy” or “useless.”
- Do it! — Once you’ve had the inner dialogue, and recognized what potential options might have otherwise been out of your reach, it’s time to commit to a path. There is no right or wrong! Yes I said it. Don’t give me that bullsh*t about “what if I make the wrong decision?”
Because if we’re all being honest here, you’ve made many seemingly wrong decisions in the past that have resulted in new opportunities, growth, and just a general knowledge of what you don’t want in your life moving forward. So the choice was never wrong, it was simply a choice. So pick one. Point yourself in a clear direction, and go. Don’t look back.
- Let Go! And Enjoy — Once you’ve made the decision, don’t keep asking “what if” the whole way through it. Stand tall, walk proud, and let the path deliver what it may. If you keep meddling with your choice, and trying to control the outcome, then what’s the use of having picked a path to begin with? You’re not even enjoying the fruits of your labor, nor letting the Universe play a role in its unfolding.
Oh, I get it, you think that without your hands in the pot, everything will go to sh*t?
Yeah, I can understand that. I struggle with that on the daily. But then I just re-read this blog, and remind myself to stop taking everything so seriously.